Here's to Sleep!

So far, I've been up since 5:45 PM yesterday... It's now almost ten o'clock in the morning. My goal is to make it until around 1 or 2 in the morning (tomorrow, that is). My sleep schedule has been so out of whack that I've been staying up all night and sleeping all day. It's such an easy thing to fall into, and so hard to break free of! A bit like gaining weight, really. Hah.

I've been trying to keep inspired to remain busy. I made French toast around seven. It was a little salty and a little soggy, but I'm not much of a cook! Which, I suppose, is all the more reason for me to be cooking. I've been scouring blogs, trying to find interesting ones to subscribe to. This is much harder than I originally thought. Finding interesting blogs that are updating regularly is a rarity! I managed to find a few (hi!). Besides that, I've been browsing forums.

Mainly, I guess, I'm searching for someone out there to relate to! My life has become dull, it seems. Don't get me wrong - I love it. It just seems that there are some things I cannot share with those I know personally. I dislike the oppression. 

And in that moment...

Not only do I love this because of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but from a great song by a now-defunct local band from Dallas: The S is Silent. 

http://www.purevolume.com/thesissilent

There is a link, it’s obviously the first track listed. & any fan of local music will like it.

Summer Shortcomings

It’s official - I’m going to Chicago shortly. Sadly, this will be the most exciting thing that I will do this summer. I wanted this summer to be full of adventure. I had hoped to explore many beaches, go to Austin, perhaps Florida, and maybe wonder around East Texas and on over to Arkansas. I think it has something to do with the fact that I don’t have anyone to accompany me on these many journeys I had hoped to complete. Next summer, though, I hope to make these dreams a reality. I’ll be eighteen then, and hopefully have more money and less fears. After all, there is no hotel a seventeen year old could stay at by themselves. 

But, Chicago is exciting! I’m going to visit my friend, Claire, who I met last summer when I visited Brown in Connecticut. Of course, friends were made, but I didn’t think we’d actually end up visiting any of them. I’m nervous that I’ll be bored or things might be awkward, since in reality we don’t know each other that well. Claire is the kind of girl who makes things fun, though, so I’m sure my fears are for nothing.

I suppose not all hope is lost for this summer. I tried to convince my family into going on a cruise, but that completely fell through as apparently cruises need to be scheduled many weeks in advance. However, I think that I could weasel my way into a trip to Galveston or South Padre. I definitely want to make my way to the beach with my family. It’s been such a long time since we’ve had a family vacation. And despite my desperation to get out of The Colony and away from my family, I will miss them and this is the last time I will live with them. 

Happy Independence Day!

I’ve been really mopey lately. I got a new book: Benazir Bhutto’s Reconciliation. I’m only about forty pages deep right now, but it’s good. It’s interesting to have a new perspective on Islamic culture and the Middle East in general, especially from someone as wise as her.

I really wonder about people sometimes. Especially myself. I don’t know how I’ve managed to become such a pushover. I used to be so bossy, but now I hardly even see the point in putting up a fight for anything I want or believe in. It just seems like everyone is so selfish and wants their voice to be heard over everything. It’s as though everyone is striving to be the most impressive. I just don’t want to be another over-bearing person like most of those I’m surrounded by. I don’t want to interrupt every other sentence I hear or to louden my voice to try and be heard. So, lately, I find myself sitting with a group of friends in silence.

This Fourth of July has consisted of me sleeping and reading Wikipedia! 

Expanding Tastes

I’m running out of my graduation money quite quickly. This, combined with the fact that I feel like a bum now that summer has started, has inspired to me to get a job! Or, at least volunteer somewhere so my parents are more likely to give me money… haha.

Something has been coming over me, lately. Although I can’t say who influenced me (really, I can’t, I don’t know!), I have been listening to some old-school rap / hip hop / R&B. At least, old-school to me. This new fascination has, almost sadly, left me a bit disillusioned with Lil Wayne. It seems to me that all of these older, more established rappers were better in their prime (and sometimes now, as well) than Lil Wayne is currently. I’m talking specifically about Mos Def, Common, Nas, Busta Rhymes, Lauryn Hill (yes!), Talib Kweli, Jay-Z, Andre 3000… and others. I’m excited to listen to more.

Also, my schedule for next Fall is about as good as it can be, being a freshman and everything. I’m verrryyy pleased.